one thing i've learned...and continue to learn...is that "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." i'm embarrassed to say that i fall into the trap too often. i say something, and the second it leaves my lips, i wish i hadn't put it out there. it's not even necessarily the words i'm using but the tone. cold. or frustrated. or annoyed. and i know the other person hears it, feels it and internalizes it.
yet, despite this realization, and even despite the fact that i don't like this trait very much, i find it very, very, very difficult sometimes to suppress the urge to let it out. even though i know it's followed almost instantaneously by regret.
what is it about us that makes us think we'll feel better by being unkind or unfriendly or not part of the solution? i guess a lot has to do with our egos and the need to feel superior on some level - the whole "i'm right. you're wrong," thing.
but i know in those moments that i catch myself and don't let the unkind words slip, i feel stronger, better and more compassionate. and that's truly the direction i would like to be moving in more.
so i encourage you all - along with me - to set the intent to bite your tongue, even just once, in an instance when you would normally say something you may regret. keep your lips sealed and see how you feel.